Hi soon to be bestfriendsforever! I’m Amanda from Martinis or Diaper-Genies which we call MODG around our parts. I’m a regular girl who does regular stuff and my selection process for new friends is pretty much like anyone else’s. I judge how similar you are to me (more is better), how pretty you are (what? like you don’t do it), followed by a professional interview. Normal stuff. So since I knew this is how you would be potentially selecting me as a new friend, I thought I'd facilitate the process for you.
In terms of the interview part, I’ve decided to skip the whole, scheduling an appointment, wearing a business suit and exchanging resumes thing. Instead, I’m providing my interview for you right here. And I found an excellent interviewer, me.
So Amanda, What is Martinis or Diaper Genies all about? Sounds like a weird combination.
Great question friend of friends. MODG is a blog dedicated to my quest to determine if/when I should have a baby. As a 29 year old married chick who gets her kicks from Britney Spears, Bravo reality programming, and the occasional designer shoe, I’m not sure if I’m ready yet to give all that selfish stuff up. Plus I hear babies dislike wine.
Wow, you sound selfish and crazy. So you talk about this baby stuff every day even though you don’t have one?
No, while I’m in the “martini” phase of my life I talk about fabulous society girl type things like that time I listened to my stupid friend who said I should do a “salt water cleanse” with her and ended up accidentally pooping on the floor. Other hot topics include my obsession with Suri Cruise, the number of times my husband B has rolled his eyes at me in any given day and also pizza. It’s riveting stuff.
Amanda, you realize that Speaking from the Crib is a respectable blog with respectable readers (the writer is questionable), why should they read the crap you write every day?
Well, when you dig out from underneath the crap, I really am struggling to figure out myself, my life and maybe a future family. I’m very honest with who I am, what I do and what I like and hate. I have some great readers who are mostly mommies that school me on motherhood. I love blogs like this one because I learn firsthand from honest people what day to day life is for a mom and it keeps me in check. And if that doesn’t work from you, I have Single Guy Tuesdays and Confession Fridays. They are pretty amazing if you ask me…and you did.
Ok Amanda, sounds like a blog I’ll check out, become a google follower of, a facebook fan of and a twitter follower all at once! Any final thoughts?
I hope you stop by and please bring some Shiraz and cookies like any good guest would. You’ll either love me or hate me and I hope you tell me either way. My best blog friend hates me and that means I love her even more. In conclusion I’ll share a picture of myself. I don’t do this too often at MODG so consider this your free gift for making it through this interview. Since I know you’re judging my attractiveness, I picked a picture that makes up for appearances with the addition of witty humor.
And as I always say: Sharing is Caring and Peeing is Believing.
Thank you Amanda for sharing your whimsical blog-ness with us today. We are all sufficiently delighted. Now be a good SFTC follower and take a mo to hop over to Amanda's martini glass and leave her a comment too! Be sure to let her know you found her at the crib!
You wouldn't think I'd have to say that crap, but seriously, some people have zero manners.
Okay, what question to pose to my loyal cribites today? Have YOU farted today? I know you have. That's too easy. Hmmm. Would you rather drink a martini or change a dirty poopy diaper? Also too easy.
Back to the farts. Are you an OPEN farter ie will you fart in front of intimate friends and family in the comfort of your own home (some people have an intestinal condition that prevents them from NOT farting, so ease up sally) OR are you a CLOSET farter ie you would rather die than fart in front of anyone.
NK. That's a good 'un.
69 comments:
Ok I'm lame enough to be the first commenter on my own post.
OPEN farter as long as it's not the loud kind. I can tell.
i heart modg. and now i heart speaking from the crib. not that i'm having a baby anytime soon, but pretty funny girls who write blogs are my thing.
i used to be an open farter with my ex bf. but my current bf is very private with his bodily functions, so i feel i should be too. we were together for a year when i finally asked him "do you poop?" because he does it so secretly.
great interview, modg- and yay to finding a new fab blog, speaking from the crib.
p.s. sorry- i always tend to write long comments. no one can shut me up in person, nevermind when i'm typing away :)
I am still a firm believer that you should adopt a monkey instead of having a child. Children are overrated and poopy diapers are bad for manicures. Plus, I am sort of afraid a kid would suck the funny out of you and then I would not have anyone to e-mail with during the day. But it would provide me with more opportunities to judge you...
If I came to your blog for a party, I would bring neither Shiraz nor cookies. I would bring every season of DCC, guacamole and champagne (and obviously class) because that's how I roll.
Oh and thanks for the shout out, MODG.
I farted today and my son said, "Somebody poisoned the water hole." (we are all about the Toy Story quotes around here)
One of the advantages of living in a house of boys, is that being an "open farter" is actually admired. The more open the better. So at home I just let it drop. Always on a quest to impress them. I just have to remember when I'm NOT a home . . . because the co-workers really don't find it so amusing.
MODG is my gal and I want to be like her and just have martini's...so, I am sending her my kids in exchange!
How timely. I wrote about why I never had kids just yesterday. If my own actions as a child are any indicator, a child of mine would have "Rosemary's Baby" written all over it.
I fart,therefore I am.
thanks for the recommendation, SFTC! I just love you AND MODG! However, I must question whether all your readers are RESPECTABLE (or sane)...
xoxo
modg is awesome...and no, i haven't farted today. yet.
Seriously? This fabulous post and all I can think of is the fart.
I farted this morning and I actually made the kids quit talking so they could hear it. I know!!! So gross.
I farted so loudly this morning I scared the cat.
And, BTW - martinis make diaper changes much less traumatic for mommy. I'm just sayin'...
I did my 30 minute CORE workout with my own personal trainer, Maya. OF COURSE I FARTED.
Maya, IS my personal trainer, however she is virtual(don't tell her, she thinks she goes out dancing & that the Alpine View workout room is cold) and only pops in when I turn on the Wii and open "My Fitness Coach".
Farting is done without much acknowledgement in our home :)
On the contrary, I think babies do like wine. It's just that CPS does not like for you to give wine to your baby. Or something.
Anyone who can talk about farts is someone that I like.
I fart all the time. I admit it. They usually aren't stinky unless I've had beans. Normally it's just noise. I can totally out fart my husband. He'll sometimes go, "Are you a woman or a horse?"
Well... I have farted once today in the privacy of my office. It was fine.
Martinis all the way, as I am scared of being withchild, delivering said child, and being the sole provider of said child. I'm just not mentally there yet! So I'll have an extra dirty martini please.
As for my farting preference... my fiance forbid's farting, unless he is said farter. So I'm a private pooter around him, but with my girl friends... if you've got to poot- let it rip.
I'd fart openly while drinking a martini.
Flash 55 - Blue Gill
I have to be honest. I am about 13 months pregnant (I swear, I am so sick of this pregnancy!) and my midwife was checking my cervix. I had to fart so bad, and I didn't want to do it in her face, while her hand is up my ....
I didn't but the need was just that embarrassing.
As someone who loves martinis and is trying to decide if I ever wants a diaper wearing creature I will for sure check out MODG.
As far as farts go, I seem to have a problem...I can't hold them in. EVER. Doesn't matter where we are if I have to fart it'll come out. Luckily they are silent 99.98% of the time, but unfortunately they are smelly 80% of the time.
If any of you are ever in a room with me and it smells like fart, feel free to point at me. I did it.
great feature blog. i heart amanda!!!
Great Post Amanda!!
I always let them rip...my farts are worse than my husbands...so that kind of stinks for him! ha
I already read Amanda's blog so I get a gold star.
In response to today's question, I'd rather implode than fart in front of someone. This includes my husband of 7 years.
You know you got lovecomin' from my bloghouse sista!
In my house it is open fart season. Common occurances and contests to see who can clear a room. I personally open with friends closed with work associates.
I'm gonna check her out.
I'm still scarred for life after my adorable nephew shat all over the backseat of the car and I hadn't noticed, so I leaned in to pick him up and basically grabbed two handfuls of mushy baby poo...I died a little that day, so hand me that martini because this girl will NOT be having any poop producers soon!
There are people who are incapable of farting?
MODG rocks and apparently farts openly. That flies with me.
You guys are just too funny!
Very funny! Your blogger pick looks like fun!
I do not watch the dog whisperer, but maybe I should! LOL
Have a great weekend!
I'm a wimp when it comes to farting. I onyy fart in private. My hubby, on the other hand, I think has a problem with his intestines, bc I hear him fart more than he talks. He also declared just last night that he thinks our cat likes the smell of his farts...why else would he curl up right by his ass??
Uh, do what?
Nope, not me!
You pose a question that makes me sit with a philosophical whimsy to my face, pondering the true deepness that is a mother's life. And I arose with a clatter when I realized that I had not farted today. I remedied that just now.
However, although I tend to be a gassy girl because I love my veggies, I have never been flatulent in front of my husband. In all truth, he recently remarked after I emerged from a 15-minute stay in the bathroom and informed him that I was pottying, "I thought you didn't do that. Until this moment I had no real proof that you ever did that."
And I replied, "And you still have no proof and you never will."
See, there is something about that man that just blocks me right up. We've been together for over 11 years and two children, so you'd think I'd loosen up, but nah. I think it keeps me up on that pedestal he built for me on our first date if he thinks that I still have some ethereal, magical qualities.
First -- hubs and I have never PURPOSELY pooted in front of one another, and we've been together for five years. I have a feeling though, as our four-month-old son continually gasses my husband (literally in his hand) on a daily basis... that might be changing.
Okay, I have a good fart story.
When I was in the third grade, my parents took my younger sister and I to Disney World. It really was magical. Thanks to home movies and the magic of long-term memory, we have really good recollections of the entire trip (except for only remembering that for some unknown reason, my dad got really, really pissed off at the Magic Kingdom and we had to leave. As adults, my mom told us it was because he found out they didn't serve beer at that particular park. Thanks Dad. It's like catching the Easter Bunny shitting into foil and leaving it on my front steps. I digress.), especially this story, which we have told everyone but has yet to hit the web. Until now.
We stayed late at the Magic Kingdom one night to catch the Spectromagic parade. It was absolutely awesome, except for the fact that about 25,000 other people joined us. Oh well. Still awesome to a kid.
For anyone who hasn't been to the 'Kingdom, there are two ways back to the parking lot -- the ferry and the monorail. We, for some reason, were not allowed to take the monorail (parents rules). So, after the parade was over and we were on our way back to the car, we're making our way slowly to the ferry. We're maybe about 100 feet from the loading area, and I'm walking at thE same pace as my dad and sister. My fanny pack-wearing mom is, as always, 20 steps ahead.
We're almost there when we are hit in the face with the smell of sewer. It was like walking to a ferry about to take us on a tour of a water treatment plant. Someone ripped one, and this was no SBD. This was a WHATTHEFUCKISTHATSMELLITSBURNINGMYGODDAMNEDNOSEHAIRS.
Grown men are pulling their shirts over their noses. Kids are throwing up. And we're... laughing hysterically, realizing my quiet mum is the one who tooted that particular horn. We board the ferry, get WAY FAR to the front (you don't want to be downwind of a gas cloud in Orlando in July), and sail away. We could quite literally hear people complaining about asking for refunds for dealing with the smell the entire way across the lagoon back to the parking lot.
We refer to it, lovingly, as the day my mom made 10,000 people sick at Disney World.
Well I came by to thank you for your visit and kind comments on my blog and find that I need a clothespin for my nose. Do you realize everyone is farting around here? Thanks for the tootin' welcome. ;)
cool beans. thanks for the recommendation. I shall check it out...
hahaa! i loved her interview...and i'm an open farter...all the way!! i farted on my first date with the hubs...in his truck! claaasssy!!
I fart infront of hubby and family
completely depends on the type of fart... if it's a fart that is a warning for future poop... I wouldn't do it around other people... because it would smell like poo... If it's a ijustdranktoomuchsoda kind of fart, sure, why not. As long as it's quiet and I don't think it will smell too much. :) I heart that blog... it's different... in a good way.
Ok as a mother of 3 boys I attempt to hold them in but I have been known to fire back in retaliation only lol...
Just has funny over here as you are on MODG. I'll stick with the Martinis!
Amanda is one funny chickie, and for those who didn't see my 'I HATE SPOON" post this week, guess what? Amanda is my long lost spoon hating twin!!! LOL
Great feature!
xoxo
Cameron
www.conquerthemonkey.com
I say it is totally natural and hilarious! All I ask is to be nice and help us out by providing us some space from the fumes LOL! That's what makes it offensive LOL! Theres's some mighty funky ones out there, especially if you're lactose intolerant.
In my household, with my four young adult kids, farting is the joke of each and every day! Cooties is the number one game around here....better cross those fingers or you will be tagged! LOL!
I must be somewhere in between. I mean, if you can't fart in front of your husband, you have intimacy issues. But farting in front of your boss? That could leave you with unemployment issues. Thanks for, once again, giving me so much to think about.
Total closet farter. If I fart in an empty house I will giggle at myself! Clearly I have a problem.
Very nice to meet you Amanda; I remember being you. Well, not YOU you, but you before I had kids. And so now I am me. Anyway...
I wrote a whole post about this on my blog *cough cough you should read it cough cough!* And I thought it was OK to fart around my kids; my husband ALSO thought it was OK to fart around the kids. Now we both know for certain, after being together for 18 years, that we each do, in fact, fart. Kids. Gotta love 'em! The end.
I think there are far too many babies in the world and I've always been of the opinion to let babies be someone else's problem.
Like my brothers.
As a father I'd be not much, but I'm perfect as an uncle.
Just something to keep in mind as you're sipping your martini's and enjoying your freedom Amanda.. you should never give it up, but let the people close to you give theirs up. Then you can be close to a baby, but still do your own thing.
It seems that people fart less in the south. Or, at the very least, they talk about it a lot less.
I rip them regularly in front of my family and some select friends. I share them discreetly in class, at work in the media lab and, of course, crop dusting through the grocery store.
I know you...I know what you do...I plead the 5th!
sandy toe
I came over from MODG. I'm glad I did since I'm a new follower of Amanda's. Now I know her a little better.
Great post. You've gotta love a gal that interviews herself so brilliantly!
Can't get too close to farters!
Secretia
I fart in front of a select few. Aren't they special?!
Cute place. Glad I stopped by.
I only fart between satin sheets.
Come by OJ today, I have something for you!
www.oholivejuice.blogspot.com
- G
Too funny! Thanks for stopping by today! I love your comment "about me" on your profile. Actually, I'm one of those that fart in private. Many a time I've lost the thread of a conversation trying to hold it in! LOL
Hi there.....thanks for stopping over by "my place" today! Glad you found me!
Love your humor - good stuff. You happened to find me on a day when I have some serious posts going, but many of mine tend to be filled with lighthearted fun. Definitely come back, k?
With that said, I'm an open farter to those I feel comfortable with. So that's my parents, hubby, and kids. In fact, I'm usually the one laughing about it with my kids and asking "Did you just fart?!" To which I get "I just did fartses!" Yep, raising my boys right.
Now, if I am around anyone else, I can squirm with the best of them to keep from letting it out. B/c it's either:
1. Going to be loud and embarrassing
or
2. Going to be silent, but oh-so-deadly (equally embarrassing).
So unless it's unavoidable, I hold it in. If it comes out, you'll see me running like hell to get away from the evidence!
Wow, what a "nice-to-meet-you-and-thanks-for-stopping-by-my-blog" comment. Way to start this "blogship" with a bang, huh?
Tamara (aka The UnExperienced Mom)
www.theunexperiencedmom.com
I'm only an open farter at home...and I agree that if you can't fart in front of your own immediate family, there are issues!!
I have never farted in front of my friends. I think I'd be mortified!
How funny! I'm definitely a closet farter!
Thanks for visiting me! You are a hoot!
It depends, I have a few friends that I will. And my kiddos are always game.
Today's example: My oldest was up before me and in the bathroom, I was awake but avoiding getting up. I let one of those massive morning ones rip. Apparently it was loud enough for her to hear in the bathroom because I hear her snickering down the hall.
You are a hoot! Thanks for visiting my blog and well...following too. I shall blindly follow you because...well...that's how I roll.
Jeanette
OMG! I haven't visited yet, but I had to leave my comment here first. Where to start... um first off I am a proud farter, I try to be as polite in public, but my own home is where I am a free lance farter. My DH Spaghetti though, he is a bathroom farter ONLY. I am childish and will stand at the door with my ear to it, mocking his farting noises.
I also must confess that I TOTALLY check to see if the blogger is hot or not. I love Brit Brit too.
Alright, enough here. I have to go stalk your blog!!
Queen of Feisty
Just popped over to MODG and love it - new follower!
Yes, I am an open farter in my own home and immediate family - Im loud and proud!
I am a closet farter - always. I do not fart in front of anyone, other than my son (I gave birth to him so it's okay). I try not to do that even...
I was with my ex-husband for almost 2 years when he asked me why I never poop...as if I just never did because I was so discrete about it. I felt like that was a gold medal, as I'd really been trying hard to keep it hidden!!
I was meant to stop by today...I fart in front of close friends and family...and I also say something about it so that no one will wonder or think things and leave them unsaid. Everybody has to fart. It's just a fact.
This is freakin hilarious! Seriously, I am so glad you checked out my blog and left a comment. I can't believe I have been missing out on this. Oh, farting...my husband tells me all the time that he married a man. Does that answer it well enough? I love it. The post that is. Though farting isn't bad either ;)
I havn't farted yet today but I hate it when you're in company, you ease out a fart and it ends up being one of those silent but deadly ones . . shame!!!!! Now I have two dogs, I just look at them and go 'Tsk!!!!
You have a new follower!!
The sign here is cracking me up. I am laughing at myself for reading this and laughing so hard at it.
I fart in front of my family, but once I made my husband throw up when he was hungover and smelled my post drinking fart. Because of that, I don't want to expose those outside my home to my stench.
OK, this post is right up my anal alley. I feel closest to those who are my farting friends.
...and I guess Gloria hasn't heard the Rover joke (where the person in the story eases one after another one out when meeting a new girlfriend's Dad, who repeatedly looks at the dog and says, "Rover," every time. Finally, the father says, "Rover, you better move or this guy is going to shit all over you.")
....and Amy - omg - I laughed til I cried (maybe I should hop over to her blog and tell her).
Cribs, you've done it again. I know I'm stuck in a critical stage of my development (Jr. High), but I actually made a fart tape with my boys when THEY were in Jr. High.
...and (favorite fart story) once, while my husband and I were waiting in line at the Sundance Film Festival, after a hearty chili lunch, my husband, who couldn't EVER contain the sheer joy of every possible gaseous emission, lifted his leg for better cheek-parting openness and let loose with the loudest, longest expression EVER. The man next to him said, "One thousand ONE, one thousand TWO.....etc.
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